


Survival To The End

by Bellagia8



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Back Chat Started this, Brian May needs a hug, Drowning, Gen, Hot Space Era, aka angst fest galore
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-05
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2020-11-24 18:43:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 14,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20912330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bellagia8/pseuds/Bellagia8
Summary: “You boys need to realize something, you are nothing without each other”In which Hot Space causes another fight but this time it’s not so simple.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey all! It’s been a long time since I posted on here and it’s my first platonic Queen fic! Don’t worry more slash Fics coming your way! And last but not least I dedicate this to @lydiannode she is amazing and she inspired me to write this!

“Well we don’t need you!”

That was what shouted out of John Deacon’s mouth as he looked across his opponent. 

Brian May. Brian who stood tall and proud of the band’s work, all except for now. Hot Space was very much a challenge for him.

Brian didn’t know what was worse, the album that was happening whether he liked it or not, or the fact that he may fly out of Munich with three less friends than he had before.

Over a decade of friendship gone. Because of one damn album. An album that was all John and Freddie and none of him and Roger. 

Granted there were other albums they had done more than the rest of the band but this was just ridiculous! No guitar. Or the guitar that would be done was to be done by John and John only. Brian would be proud if it didn’t involve his place in the band. To be honest there was a lot of things that Brian questioned, his place in the band being one. 

And John had just validated it. 

“Fine. I’ll be off then” Brian said grabbing his coat and walking out. 

Any pain that was shown in Freddie or Roger’s eyes had been ignored by Brian as he walked away slamming the door shut leaving his “family” and guitar behind.

Freddie looked over at John, the boy who had once been shy and a bit naive about the world they were about to enter was no longer there. Now stood a more confident and sure of himself man who took no prisoners. And Freddie wasn’t sure what to feel about this man. Of course he loved that his little Deaky had found his voice and spoke up but it was certainly no reason to stir up fights especially when they were wasting precious time in the studio. 

“What the hell Deaky?” Roger asked after the door was slammed shut. 

Unlike Freddie who could see where John was coming from somewhat, Roger wasn’t having it.

“That was our guitarist! Our friend!” Roger growled going closer to him. 

Freddie got in between them. 

“No use arguing more now let’s just try to get something done!” Freddie said eyes pleading for Roger to not start another fight.

Roger just sighed and looked at the place where Brian had once been.

Brian sighed as he walked down the road, his thin coat hardly helping him feel anything but cold. He crossed his arms and stared at the road ahead. It wasn’t a long walk to the town and it gave Brian time to think. 

Something that Brian had done a lot of lately. With this album and not being of use, it gave his brain all the time in the world to think about himself, the band, his wife, his child...soon to be children. His Chrissie was pregnant again and almost due just a few months away. 

‘I should be there with her. Some husband you are you tosser’ Brian thought as he walked past the woods. He remembered the understanding yet painful look in her eyes as he told he he was off to Munich for another album. She smiled sadly as she kissed him and saw him off.

‘I don’t deserve her. I don’t deserve any of this’ 

With every thought Brian had the slower he walked. He trudged along just looking ahead but not really seeing. No, he just replayed the moments before in his head.  
He wasn’t needed. Not anywhere. Not in the band, no in his family, and certainly not with himself. He felt no better than a little pebble of sand.

“HELP!” A voice shouted breaking Brian from his thoughts.

He whipped around and saw a boy just a little older than his son. His blue eyes wide with fear and body trembling.

“Hey there, what’s wrong?” Brian asked his voice gentle to not spook the boy further. 

The boy looked at him teary eyed and with broken english whimpered.

“Sister! She fell in the pond! Help her!” The boy cried. 

Without waiting the boy grabbed his hand and with strength Brian didn’t know the boy had, yanked him towards the pond. 

Brian surveyed the pond and saw near land it was frozen over solid but as his eyes drifted more over the water he saw the ice get thinner and thinner until he saw the crack of ice making water come up and sinking it. 

He looked and saw the water moving frantically and then realized. 

It was the sister of the boy who got him here. And she was drowning. 

Without any hesitation, he pulled off his coat and ran out. He got to the edge of the ice as carefully as he could and kneeled down reaching into the ice cold water. Ignoring the pin pricks that shot up in his arm as his body reacted to the cold. He reached for the girl and pulled her out. 

She was a tiny young one. This one more of his Jimmy’s age. She was soaked all the way through and shaking like a leaf. 

For one moment he just held her close she was thankfully still breathing and awake sobbing. But clinging to him. 

But the moment was gone as soon as Brian felt the ice starting to crack. With a small gasp he looked at the girl. 

Brian knew there was no chance of getting them both to safety. But taking the chance, he slid the girl back to her brother on the thicker ice and thankfully he caught her. 

But it was too late for himself. The ice cracked beneath him and Brian felt the numbing coldness of the water around him.

Brian thankfully knew how to swim. He kicked his legs upwards and willed his arms to move. His lungs burning trying to get one breath of air. 

“WE DON’T NEED YOU!” John’s voice shouted in his mind stopping all movement in his body.

John was right. They didn’t need him. With the synthesizers and instruments designed to make his job of playing guitar a thing of the past. He was useless to Queen as a whole. They didn’t need them. 

Chrissie. His sweet wife who had given him his son and another child he won’t get to meet. But that’s ok. In time she would find someone better with a better job and someone who would spend more time with them. Not him. He who took off with guitar in hand jet setting across the world with three men who he saw as brothers. But now who saw him as nothing.

‘I’m sorry Red, I’ll see you in another life’ He saw her in his mind. His guitar who had been with him all his teen years until now. Now she’d go on. Be played by someone better. 

He felt the water fill his lungs. It wasn’t as scary as he thought it would be. His mind drifted off to happier times. Ridge farm, the boys smiling and playing. Top of the Pops, Queen....Roger, Freddie, John...

‘Goodbye...’ Brian thought as his eyes closed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mack puts our boys in place and it’s about to get serious!

Contrary to John’s belief, trying to get work done after the argument was proven pointless. Roger had just stood awkwardly as they played around with the drum machine and Freddie had tried to sing a few notes but unlike the usual gifted voice all of Freddie’s singing had no heart to it. It was a shell of what it was. He knew he’d have to go to Brian at some point and apologize. 

‘Though it was his fucking choice to walk out...’ John thought to himself. 

“Ok get out of here all of you” Mack said throwing the headphones to the side.

“Mack..?” Freddie asks. He had even forgotten about the man who was at the helm of the studio. 

Mack isn’t having it. He’d work with the boys before and this wasn’t it! He’d had been used to the occasional studio squabble but it was all out of love and even part of their banter. He didn’t know what ‘this’ was. This all of a sudden animosity towards each other. John’s animosity towards Brian of all people. And the fight he just witnessed with one of their own walking out was the last straw. 

“No, Freddie this is a disaster and you know it. None of you have gotten anything done and let’s face it you need Brian” Mack said. 

John goes to interject.

“Now wait a minute...” 

“No! What you said to him was very uncalled for John, I know you guys are family and family fights but family doesn’t let family walk off into the cold.” 

John looks down wanting to shrivel in his seat. Family. It was a word that they used often to describe each other. Brothers.

It was what he’d called them the day he got married. He introduced them as my brothers. When the nurses asked if any family was coming to visit Ronnie and the babies when they were born, John had simply said “my brothers”. And the boys were there.

“I want you to go out and find him and apologize and come back tomorrow” Mack says sounding like a stern father. 

Roger nods and takes Freddie and John with him each getting their coats and scarves on.

“Oh and boys?” Mack asked.

They turn around. They look like three little boys who had been scolded. 

“You boys need to realize something, you are nothing without each other” Mack says with a finality that takes them on the search for Brian.

It was true, they were nothing without each other. Brian had found Roger who in turn together they had found Freddie and his magnificent voice and the trio had found John their new bass player. A family compete. 

“He can’t be too far off...” Roger starts heading towards the town.’

“Of course, poor darling is probably at some bar drinking his troubles” Freddie coos.

“I just hope he’s somewhere we can easily find him” Roger sighs.

Roger knows what it’s like when Brian is in one of his moods. He can disappear for a good while for a sulk but there had been a few occasions where Roger has been there. Giving him more drinks and patting him on the back. And in return Brian had given him a softly smile and let him in.

“I’m sure he will turn up darling” Freddie said. 

In all honestly Freddie couldn’t afford to think of the opposite outcome.

“HELP!” A voice screams.

They turn and see two small children no older than John’s boys. A boy and a soaking young girl.

“Oh dear! What happened!?” Freddie asked immediately dropping to his knees examining the children. The poor girl was soaked to the bone. 

Freddie instantly took his scarf off and wrapped it around the child’s neck carefully.

“I...I fell in the pond” The girl said with shameful eyes.

“Are you ok?” Roger asked kneeling down as well.

“We are but there was a man! I found him and he helped my sister” The boy explained his body shaking.

“Where is this man and what did he look like?” John asked in his most calm fatherly voice not wanting to spook the children.

“A very tall man, with curly hair! He ran and got my sister out but the ice cracked! He’s drowning and needs help” The boy exclaimed.

The band froze.

John looked at the children gulping silently.

‘Ok John stay calm. There’s tons of men who are tall and have curly hair. It’s not him....it can’t be!’ 

Before John could voice his thoughts, Freddie and Roger are already running following the children. He goes after them.

Roger is running faster than he ever had in his life.

‘Brian I swear to all hell...please don’t let it be you!’ Roger thought as tears formed in his eyes.

It can’t be Brian. Brian would think this through. 

But Brian would also dive in danger headfirst. Especially is children or animals were involved.

‘Damn your big loving heart Brian!’ Roger thinks as he ran forward.

Freddie, trying to not panic follows the children and is the first to do so.

‘Brimi dearest you better be somewhere else. Please don’t be in this pond!’ Freddie thinks to himself.

He can’t stand the thought of Brian....like that. 

Finally they see the frozen over pond. The boys see the big gaping crack that the pond have showing no mercy for the victims it took. 

“The water...it’s still...” the boy said in fear.

“He...he was moving when we left to get help” The girl shakes.

That’s all it took for Roger, Freddie, and John to run out. Roger was ahead about to dive in not caring about himself.

“Wait!” John exclaimed.

Roger whipped around looking at John eyes bulging out.

“John this could be Brian drowning and you want me to WAIT!?” Roger growled.

John stood his ground.

“It’s stupid to all jump in! We need someone to pull you and I out!” John says voice trembling.

Freddie understand instantly.

“A human chain!” Freddie said.

“Exactly” John nods.

Freddie takes the place of the one pulling first, all his years of boxing of course he would be the strongest to pull up. John linked his arm with Freddie to which Roger latched onto John. 

Roger looked at them. 

“Ok deaky when you feel me pull you pull us up..” Roger said.

He didn’t dare say Brian’s name.

John nodded as did Freddie.

Without any hesitation Roger dove in not caring about the ice cold water. 

The water was murky that was certain as Roger opened his eyes letting them adjust. 

‘Not Brian...not Brian....’ Roger’s mind chanted.

He let himself go deeper letting John get his lower half in. 

He kept on searching. All he saw was dark blue with only the barest hint of light coming through.

Until he saw someone. 

Lanky and curly hair.

‘Oh God...’ Roger thought as he reached for the man. Once the man was in his grasp he turned him over. 

The sight would haunt him for the rest of his life.

There in his arms was his best friend. Hair everywhere, his eyes closed and mouth open. No sign of breathing coming from mouth or nose. His body was completely lax. 

It took Roger everything in him to not scream. He just tugged on John violently.

John felt the tug gasping as he was nearly pulled under the water.

“Freddie pull! Roger has him!” John exclaims.

Freddie nods silently praying it isn’t their beloved guitarist. With a mighty pull he gets John out who in turn gets Roger out. 

He has the man in his arms but the look on Roger’s face says it all.

“It’s Brian! Help me get him to safety!” Roger yells.

Freddie and John’s hearts drop but on autopilot get them out of the danger zone getting them off the ice. 

Roger lays Brian down on the solid ground and quickly turns him on his side letting all the water drain from his mouth and nose.

Freddie looks on whimpering.

‘This has to be a good sign right? Water is coming out of his mouth and nose we just have to give him a moment...he will be ok!’ Freddie tells himself as he takes Brian’s hand.

It’s so cold that Freddie instantly wants to wrap him up in a million blankets and hold him close and NEVER let go.

Roger then gets Brian on his back and leans down. His ear close to Brian’s mouth and nose. His fingers lightly over his neck checking for a pulse. 

Roger does this for a moment but soon he whimpers trying to not cry.

“Guys....he’s not breathing!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *peaks out*  
You guys good? I swear it’s all going to be ok!.....maybe....


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys reflect about their guitarist as they desperately try to bring him back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Buckle up! This chapter is more dramatic than the last!

He’s not breathing. 

That sentence turns John’s blood to ice. Brian. Their Brian who was just yelling at him just a half hour ago....now laying lifeless and blue.

His lips were blue and hands and face ashen and pale. 

‘I did this...I did this to him!’ 

Roger wasted no time. He checked Brian’s pulse and breathing again just to be sure.  
To make sure his nerves weren’t getting the best of him. Sadly he wasn’t mistaken. There was still nothing from their guitarist.

‘Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck!’ His mind going a million miles per second. 

He quickly positioned himself next to Brian. He heard whimpering and saw the two children who had brought him here. 

‘Poor kids don’t need to see this...’ he thought.

“Get help! NOW! GO!” He yelled at them. 

The boy took his crying sister and ran off hopefully to do as Roger said.

Once the kids were gone, Roger looked down at Brian. His face was blank....no sign of thought in that intelligent mind of his. He knew what he had to do.

He had taken a first aid course for biology back at Uni including CPR but never thought he had to use it. 

Especially on Brian. Who KNEW how to swim. 

He quickly interlocked his hands in the center of Brian’s chest and started pressing down. Fast and quick letting Brian’s chest recoil and pressing back down.

‘It’s ok, he’s going to be ok. Don’t think about it just keep the beat...like drumming’ 

Freddie watched in horror as Roger did chest compressions. Frozen he kept a tight grip on Brian’s hand. He was not letting go for anything! 

‘Darling sweet darling please...don’t do this’ Freddie thought as he gently lifted Brian’s hand to his lips giving it a soft kiss. He couldn’t bare to think about what would happen if his hand was never warm again.

‘I’ll warm you up Brimi don’t worry. We will get you all nice and cozy’

Roger kept his tears at bay as he pressed down on Brian’s chest. Any minute now he would wake up and push him off. Any minute now.

“Come on Brian! Don’t make me continue!” Roger whispered in between counts. 

John watched silently as the scene unfolded. Brian was never this still. Never silent. He may have had his quiet moments but never ever like this! 

This was all his fault. All his damn fault! If he would’ve never said all of those horrible things to Brian...Back Chat. 

His anger had gotten the best of him when he had written Back Chat. And he had sat gleefully as he watched Brian’s face contort into all sorts of emotions. It had only gotten worse when he told Brian they didn’t need them.

‘We do! We do need you Brian!’

“John help me! Breathe for him!” Roger yelled as he kept pumping his chest.

“I...I...I...” John stuttered helplessly.

“SHUT UP AND DO IT! I can’t do this alone John please!” Roger says blue eyes shining with unshed tears. 

John whimpered but carefully tilted Brian’s head back, pinched his nose and leaned down giving him two breaths.

‘Brian please! Please push me off of you! Wake up!’ John thought as he breathed.

No response. 

“Please...please Brian...” John whimpered.

But why would Brian want to listen? After all he was the one who said they didn’t need him.

With a slight growl Roger went back to compressions. This time a little harder.

“Come on Brian! Damn it! Don’t fucking do this!” Roger growled.

It seemed like forever. But Roger kept going. He kept a beat in his head like a metronome. He didn’t dare look at Brian’s face. Only to breathe for him. Which he rarely did leaving that job to Freddie and John. 

Freddie whimpered as he breathed for Brian on his turn. How long could they do this? How long before...

‘No! Don’t you DARE!’ His mind shouted at him. 

They weren’t losing Brian. Not on their lives! 

If they did, they would have to tell Chrissie poor sweet and pregnant Chrissie that her husband wasn’t coming home. Wouldn’t meet the new born baby he had been so ecstatic to meet. 

Poor little Jimmy, who would happily see his uncles and ask where his daddy was. Only to get tear filled eyes and a careful response of daddy went away...and he won’t be coming back.

John thought of his own two kids. Robert and Michael. He could see the tears in their eyes when he and Veronica would sit them down and gently tell them that uncle Brian was dead. That he was an angel now. And they wouldn’t see him for a very long time. 

He could picture Robert’s tears and Michaels questioning eyes when he would ask when Brian would be coming for a visit. 

‘No no no’ John thought as he once again tilted Brian’s head and breathed for him. He wouldn’t let Brian go so easily. Neither of them would. When Brian woke up they would make sure that he knew how loved he was.

Freddie didn’t know how much time had passed but he looked up and see the sun setting and the stars coming out.

Sunset, stars, the end.

“Brian! Brian please! Don’t go to the stars yet! Please!” Freddie exclaimed squeezing Brian’s still cold hand. 

John looked up as well and saw the stars too. He knew exactly what Freddie meant. He let the tears fall.

Roger didn’t stop. He growled and kept on compressing Brian’s chest.

“YOU FUCKING WANKER! COME ON! Wake up! I can’t....we can’t do this alone!” Roger yelled his voice cracking and compressions becoming punctuated.

Roger stopped. For a moment he looked at the face of his best friend. His brother. 

‘I think you’re a fantastic drummer and I love to have you in the band’ Brian had told him bright smile and eyes shining. 

Roger had smiled and shook his hand. That hand shake turned into eventual hugs and back pats, and even cuddles.

He looked up at the stars. Any of those stars twinkling down at them could be Brian. THEIR Brian. 

“NO!” Roger screamed and started compressions again. Stars be dammed! This is their brother and he wasn’t about to let him go just like that! 

John sobbed. He couldn’t hold it in. He took Brian’s other hand and leaned down cradling his hand to his chest. 

“I’m sorry! Brian I’m so sorry!” John sobbed not even hiding his remorse anymore.

Roger kept on pumping. 

Finally as Roger gave another hard compression, Brian gasped. 

They thought they were dreaming. But lo and behold their guitarist was coughing and sputtering fighting against the water shooting through his lungs.

“Get him on his side!” Roger exclaimed. 

Freddie and John quickly helped Roger get Brian over to his side where even more water came gushing out of him like a geyser. 

Roger carefully patted his back helping expel more water out.

“That’s it Brian! Let it out!” Roger said voice cracking. The tears falling.

Freddie kept a hold on Brian’s hand. 

“That’s it’s lovie! Good! Oh darling we thought we lost you” Freddie cooed kissing his hand. He planted many kisses on his hand and would keep doing so forever if he could.

John carefully placed his jacket underneath Brian’s head not caring about the chill. He just wanted Brian to be as comfortable as he could.

Not that coughing up water from your lungs could be all that comfortable. 

He whimpered as he stroked Brian’s hair.

Roger still on high alert looked around. He had sent those children to get help and no one showed up yet! 

As if on cue, a team of paramedics came on the scene and went over to the boys.

“ABOUT FUCKING TIME!” Roger yelled.

He was ignored as they loaded Brian Brian away. The boys followed as fast as they could.

They saw Brian was being loaded into the ambulance his eyes half lidded and moving his arm. 

Roger saw this and instantly went into the back of the ambulance with him and held his hand. Before the ambulance door closed he called out to Freddie and John. 

“Meet us at the hospital!”

And with that the door closed and the ambulance sped off.

John saw the ambulance go. He wanted nothing more than to run after it. He then felt a hand on his shoulder.

“Come on darling, Brian needs us” Freddie whispered.

John turned to him and nodded. 

“Let’s go”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y’all good?  
Hey at least he’s alive!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And the wait begins!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *comes out of hiding* Remember me? Ahh I’m sorry it’s been more than a week since I updated. Things got a little crazy and hectic but it’s all good for now! I appreciate all the comments and kudos you’ve given me!

An hour later, the boys found themselves in the dimly lit waiting room. Lucky enough for them they got a little private section to wait in to avoid reporters and journalists.

‘Thank fucking Christ’ Roger thought to himself as he paced around the room.

The drummer looked like a caged tiger ready to pounce on the next person who even dared to look his way. He had been like that ever since they had gotten there. 

Freddie instantly sat down as did John. John just wanted to curl up and just give up all together. After all that had happened, he didn’t deserve to sit or even be comfortable. Not after all he had said to Brian.

As if reading his mind, Freddie put a gentle hand on John’s shoulder. 

“It’s alright dear, it’s going to be ok, it’s not your fault” Freddie soothed while rubbing his shoulder.

Roger snapped his head towards their direction, his eyes bloodshot and teeth gnashed.

“Not his fault!?” Roger hissed.

John looked down instantly. He knew that tone of Roger’s and it was never ever good.

“He is the reason why Brian is here!” Roger growled.

“Roger!” Freddie warned. He put a hand on John’s shoulder in comfort.

“No! Who wrote Back Chat!? Who said they didn’t need guitar on THEIR album!? WHO SAID WE DIDN’T NEED HIM!?” Roger shouted getting close to John only for Freddie to stand up and hold Roger back.

“That’s enough!” Freddie exclaimed voice nearly cracking.

Roger growled trying to plow through Freddie. 

“You know what! We could’ve lost him today! You know that!? What would we have told Chrissie!? John what would you have done!?” Roger asked.

John physically shuddered. 

What would they have done? They would’ve had to make the phone call. Call Miami, break the news. John himself would have to call Veronica and tell her tearfully that Brian was gone. He would have to tell his boys, his sweet Robert and Michael that uncle Bri wouldn’t be visiting anymore. 

He couldn’t bare to imagine the hurt look on their angelic little faces. The same way he didn’t dare imagine little Jimmy May’s face when he along with Freddie and Roger that his daddy was gone and he wasn’t coming back. He didn’t even want to think of the boy running away in tears crying for his father.

He thought of Chrissie. In her seventh month of her second pregnancy. She had pulled the boys aside and made them promise her that they would look after Brian. And John had broken that promise. If Brian had passed they would’ve told her with somber eyes that her husband died. Died saving a child but also because of John’s own stupidity. He couldn’t even imagine what Chrissie would’ve done.

He felt a gentle hand on his cheek. He snapped back to reality and saw Freddie’s warm eyes looking at him. 

“Don’t cry my love, it’s ok” Freddie cooed as he brought a tissue to John’s wet cheek.

He didn’t even realize he was crying. 

“I’m..I’m sorry! I’m awful! I’m terrible! Roger’s right!” John whimpered. Lips trembling he shivered. He couldn’t even look at Roger.

Freddie gasped softly and instantly pulled John into his arms cradling him close.

“Oh darling no! No, you aren’t terrible! Yes, you have said things that are hurtful but dear, we all have. We all have hurt each other. But it’s ok now. Or it will be. Brian is going to be ok. He’s still here” Freddie cooed hugging John close resting his cheek atop John’s head.

Freddie saw Roger still standing. His shoulders tense and his eyes piercing through. The tiger now stalled looking at the would be prey. 

Freddie gave Roger a gentle look and patted and spot next to him. 

Roger wanted to fight back, he wanted to throw something (or someone) out of the bloody window! But seeing the pleading look in Freddie’s eyes made him stop.

‘No more fighting. Please no more’ 

Roger sighed softly and sat next to Freddie. It was then when he sat that all of the exhaustion came through. His hands still cold were still throbbing from the chest compressions, and he felt weak in his knees from swimming and being In the water with Brian. And of course his mind went into overdrive just thinking about what they were doing to his best friend in there.

Sticking tubes everywhere, draining his lungs, making sure there was no more water in his lungs. Roger wanted nothing more than for Brian to walk out to them laughing about how they were all being silly! He was fine! And tomorrow they can finish this damn album.

But he knew that wouldn’t happen yet. Brian had a recovery ahead of him. And Roger would be damned if Brian wasn’t going to get the best care. 

Because he would. He would march right to Brian’s side and hold his hands. He would make sure his friend was warm and cared for. He would make sure he would see home again.

Freddie saw Roger’s far off look and gently guided him into his arms along with John. After today and all that had happened he just wanted to hold them close. He never ever wanted to let them go ever. And when they got to see Brian when the doctor’s let them, he would never ever let Brian go either. He would climb into bed next to him if he would have to! And he was sure Roger and John would do the same.

John nuzzled close into Freddie clinging to one of his hands and tentatively looked at Roger. He knew Roger was beyond angry with him as he should be. But he just needed to be close to them. 

Roger saw John hesitate to look at him. For now he would take pity on him and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“It’s going to be ok Dears. Now we just have to wait” Freddie says reassuring them and himself.

“Just a few moments more”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: ALL ABOARD THE CUDDLE TRAIN!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> CUDDLE TIME!!! And mama Freddie makes an appearance!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Hope everyone had a fun and safe Halloween! Mine was fun (until I busted my lip open) anywayssssss on to the next chapter!

A few moments more, as Freddie had put it turned in one hour, normal time. But to the boys it felt like an entire millennia passed by. 

Freddie kept hold of Roger and John and held them close. It had been such a long time since they had a group hug. And even then this wasn’t a group hug. It was incomplete. Missing a part of their family. 

He would kill to have Brian with them right now completing this group hug. To have his arms around all of them since his arms were long enough. 

Once Brian was awake and able to play and move again, Freddie vowed to never ever let Brian go like that again. He can have ALL the guitar solos he could ever want, he could decide all the songs on their next album, hell he could even rename the band if he wanted (not that he would) either way, he would make sure that Brian knows how appreciated he is, and how wanted. 

Freddie felt his eyes become droopy. He fought to stay awake. Their Brimi was in a room all alone being looked at by doctors and he needed to stay up! 

It wasn’t until he felt a gentle tap on his shoulder that he realized he failed and fell asleep. Freddie mentally cursed himself but he looked up and saw a doctor.

“Are you family for Brian May?” The doctor asked.

Freddie instantly nodded. He sat up quickly waking John and Roger in the process. Roger grunted awake.

“Hmm?” He hummed as he sat up too.

“You’re friend is stabilized. We drained his lungs of leftover fluid. Right now we are just getting his body heat under control” the doctor explained gently.

“Can we see him?” John asked voice meek and still worried.

The Doctor saw the looks on their faces and knew they wouldn’t take no for an answer.

“Follow me” The Doctor said.

The three quickly got up and all but ran to Brian’s room. 

They got in, and Roger’s heart nearly stopped.

There was Brian in the hospital bed. Hooked up to all kinds of machines. His face pale and stark in contrast to his usual warmness and smile.

His big bouncy curls now reduced to a wet, matted clump against a towel on the pillow. 

John was frozen in place. Part of him wanted to jump on the bed and just cover Brian with his own body giving him all the warmth and love he could, healing him. The other part, the cowardly part wanted to run for the hills and never ever be seen again. Brian didn’t deserve any of this.

“Oh sweet Brimi!” Freddie cooed and sent to Brian’s bedside. He instantly took Brian’s hand and almost cried out at how cold it was. He was still freezing! 

“He’s cold! Why is he still cold!?” Freddie cried out in alarm.

Roger instantly turned to the doctor. They had waited a long time to see Brian. And the fact that he STILL wasn’t warm made Roger want to throw this damn doctor out the window.

“We have been having trouble getting his body heat under control. He was under a very long time in a frozen over pond. We gave him more blankets and heating pads” The Doctor explained.

Roger looked at the doctor.

“Body heat” he gritted out of his teeth.

The doctor looked at him puzzled.

“He needs warmth, body heat is what’s going to help him” Roger said bewildered that the doctor hadn’t even THOUGHT of this.

“Well...you can try” 

Freddie quickly got behind Brian and spooned him softly. His poor hair was still wet! Freddie tutted and motioned for the doctor.

“You dear, get us a towel please his hair is soaked!” Freddie said and turned his attention back to his friend.

“Absolutely ridiculous darling, we can’t have your hair all wet like this! No wonder you’re cold!” Freddie cooed in Brian’s ear and left a kiss on his cheek. 

Roger wasted no time getting in next to Brian on his other side. He got under the blankets and plastered himself next to his best friend.

‘Christ he really is freezing’ Roger thought to himself. He carefully wrapped his arms around Brian’s waist overlapping with Freddie and placed his head on Brian’s chest. His ear picked up the steady thump of his heart. 

Roger could cry at the sound. He nearly lost that sound. He nuzzled closely into Brian. 

It was then he noticed John standing at the side of the bed awkwardly. 

“John...get in here” Roger said.

“I’m..uh, maybe I shouldn’t...” John hesitated.

“John I’m not going to say this again. Get your arse on this bed and help us or so help me..!” Roger started 

Freddie put a hand on his shoulder.

“Darling what Roger means is that if you help us, Brian will be warmer and get better faster....and it’s been such a long time since we had a cuddle” Freddie says his eyes almost pleading at the last part.

John looked down. It had been a long time since they all cuddled. In the early days, when they’d spend long hours in the studio slaving away on their first album, they would take breaks all together happily chatting as they all ignored personal space. They would end up falling asleep on the couch or the floor all snuggled up in a puppy pile. 

When they went on tour for the first time they’d always find their way into a cuddle pile pre and post show. He himself was usually always in the middle with either Roger or Freddie. Brian would always be on the end, or the one everyone was on top of. He was the tallest and longest so he was able to cuddle each of them. John remembered fondly Brian would always rest his hand on top of John’s head in a comforting gesture, stroking his hair lightly.

They hadn’t done that in so long John couldn’t even remembered the last time they all cuddled. But now here was a chance. 

A new start.

John slowly made his way over and climbed in next to the boys. The fact that the hospital bed could fit them all was ridiculous but no one was arguing. Anything to keep their guitarist brother warm. 

Soon a nurse came in bringing the towel Freddie asked for. Freddie took it thanking her, and immediately got to work drying Brian’s hair.

“Can’t have you having wet hair darling, can’t having you getting sick” Freddie cooed as he gently dried Brian’s hair still cuddled close. 

John shivered at the thought of Brian suffering any more than he already had. He hesitantly reached out and strokes Brian’s arm. 

Roger saw John’s hesitation. He sighed softly and placed John’s hand on Brian’s chest.

“Feel his heartbeat? It’s there because you helped save him John. He’s alive” Roger cooed. 

John whimpered softly and nodded. 

“I...I’m sorry” John whispered.

And Roger sighs.

“You’re still a wanker....but knowing Brian he will forgive you” Roger says looking at Brian’s slack face.

And John tears up.

“How can you be so sure? He looked so mad and heartbroken when I said that shit to him” John whimpered.

Freddie reached out to rub John’s shoulder. 

“You may have messed up dear, but we all did, now we have to move on from it and help Brian, and our Brian has a big heart of gold” Freddie said squeezing his shoulder.

John sighed and looked down. 

Soon however, the boys felt a movement, they all froze. Three pairs of eyes laid on their fallen brother. 

Brian opened his eyes, they were unfocused but open nonetheless.

“Hey” Roger said his voice soft as he stroked his cheek. 

Brian looked around and saw his his friends. 

“Darling are you with us!?” Freddie cooed stroking his hair.

Brian didn’t respond, instead he looked at John. John froze as Brian looked at him. But Brian only smiled sleepily and put his hand on John’s head and stroking his hair.

He then closed his eyes and went lax again but his hand still stayed on John’s head. He didn’t dare move. 

The tears came full force.

“See darling? He doesn’t hate you” Freddie said tears streaming down his face in relief.

“That’s our Brian” Roger encouraged leaving a small kiss on Brian’s forehead.

“Yeah...it is” John said still at a loss for words as he felt the long finger clinging to him.

Freddie smiles and nuzzled close to Brian.

“Rest my darling, you sleep all you want, we’re all here” Freddie cooed laying down.

The boys soon followed suit and all fell asleep cuddled close to Brian. It was the closest they had been in such a long time.

And they wouldn’t let go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! Brian opened his eyes! The next chapter is going to be a bit different! You’ll see in the next chapter!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian’s POV!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all! Sorry again for the wait! I’ve been taking part in a Queen Style of NaNoWriMo where I’ve been answering prompts on my tumblr page and I do one a day mini stories! So this chapter I’m switching It up  
And this is Brian’s POV! Enjoy!

The first thing Brian was felt cold. He was surrounded by freezing ice water. As a child he had learned how to swim. 

His parents would take him on holiday to the beach and it was there that his father taught him how to swim. He learned quickly and soon became a very strong swimmer. He had always taken well to water. It felt freeing and always refreshing.

Now, now he felt cold. And detached. Just as much as he been in the studio. Especially after Back Chat.

Back Chat. That song would follow him to wherever he would go next. Be it heaven or hell or the next life. He didn’t know that’s what John honestly thought of him.

‘Though I can’t blame him...it was only a matter of time before my own bandmates turned on me’ Brian thought as he sank deeper in the frigid water.

Brian had been use to magazines and press bashing him occasionally. But he never thought anything of it, he always had Freddie, Roger and John there for him. But now Brian was sure that wasn’t the case anymore.

‘They’ll find someone better to take my place. Someone better’ Brian thought as his brain became more and more foggy.

A picture crossed his mind. His sweet Chrissie. His wonderful wife, pregnant with their second child, home waiting for him and taking care of their little Jimmy.

‘I’m so sorry Chrissie...I love you. I love you so much Jimmy’ Brian thought as the the surface became just a blur to him.

He let himself just float into nothingness. They say your life flashes before your eyes before you die. But all Brian saw the water around him and the light above him. Nothing more nothing less.

He let his eyes close and let the water rush into his lungs weighing him down....

The next thing Brian felt was an intense pressure. 

‘Am I dead?’ His thought. 

He tried to look around but all he saw was black. 

‘So this is it...death is just nothingness...’ he thought.

That pressure came back this time on his chest.

‘What the fuck....?’

The pressure kept up. Something on his chest. Pushing down. Not stopping.

“Come...Bri...Don’t...m continue!” Brian’s ears picked up.

‘Continue...? Continue what!?’ Brian wanted to ask. But his mouth wouldn’t move. 

He felt a new pressure. This time on his hand. Though he can barely feel his hand, he felt this squeezing almost tugging even. He hand ended up against a solid object. What it was Brian couldn’t make out.

“Br..mi...don...worry..rm...up!” He heard another voice.

Who were these voices. 

The pressure on his chest stopped. Thank goodness for that. But soon felt another pressure. This time in his lungs. 

‘Please just leave me alone....’ Brian trailed off. 

He just wanted to let go entirely. He made his peace. He saved a child. He just wanted to go. 

‘Let me go...’

Chest. Lungs. Chest. Lungs. Chest. Lungs. 

The cycle kept repeating for what seemed like an eternity. 

“Come on Brian! Damn it! Don’t fucking do this!” Brian heard. His head clear enough to hear a full sentence. He knew that voice.

‘Roger...?’ 

Soon the pressure stopped again. He felt lips and more pressure on his hands. Someone was squeezing his hand.

“Brian! Brian please! Don’t go to the stars yet! Please!” A different voice said. 

A voice that should never be laced with so much pain.

‘Freddie...’

Roger and Freddie were somehow with him. How they found him he wouldn’t know. 

A spark of hope flooded his mind. Roger and Freddie were here!

‘Oh god Roger is going to be so pissed. And Freddie....oh Freddie I’m so sorry. I’m sorry!’ Brian’s mind raced trying to give them a sign. 

Anything.

The pressure on his chest became more apparent and more forceful. 

“YOU FUCKING WANKER! COME ON! Wake up! I can’t....we can’t do this alone” He could hear Roger scream.

Ah yes, classic Roger buff and rough on the outside but that anger and rough exterior he showed to the world was nothing compared to the gentle soul Brian knew. Brian always knew Roger was more than the ‘pretty blonde boy’ the press made him to be. He was smart, talented, and caring. And if no one could see that then it was their loss.

“I’m sorry! Brian I’m so sorry!” 

‘Deaky...?’ Brian thought thoroughly surprised.

John. He was there too. That was a shock to him. Why would John care if he was dying? He was the one who told Brian he wasn’t wanted.

‘That’s not the John I know.’ Brian thought.

John has changed the most in Brian’s eyes. From soft and shy to hardened and more sarcastic and even cynical at times. Though Brian was beyond proud of his friend, he couldn’t help but feel like he was part of the reason for John’s change. As if Back Chat weren’t enough explanation. 

‘I forgive you John. I forgive all of you! I forgive..!’ Brian thought. 

He felt the pressure build up. It was like a bullet. He felt his body spasm and gasp for air. But all that came was water. So much water. He felt it drain from his nose and mouth burning his lungs and all of his insides wanting to turn to mush. 

But nothing compared to the relieved sounds he heard from the other three. 

“Get him on his side!” He heard Roger command. 

He felt gentle hands push him over to his side helping expel the water.

He felt his hand being held and kissed again. 

“That’s it’s lovie! Good! Oh darling we thought we lost you” Brian heard Freddie say in between the kisses he gave to his hand. His hand already feeling warmed by Freddie’s unending love.

He then felt his head being lifted and placed back down. Something soft and comfortable.

He saw the familiar coat beneath him. John’s coat.

‘Oh John...’ 

Before Brian knew it he was being loaded into the ambulance with Roger dutifully taking his hand being at his side.

He passed out feeling safe for once. 

Once at the hospital, he felt his hands being ripped from Roger’s. He knew Roger didn’t want to let go. 

He felt the towels dry him up and the blankets swaddle him like a newborn baby. 

He passed out knowing nothing more.

Just knowing he wasn’t alone.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miami finds out....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all!! I hope everyone had a nice Thanksgiving (for all my US readers!) I originally planned for this chapter to be up last week but with all the traveling...oh well it’s up now!!

The next morning, the boys awoke to see Brian still passed out. They sighed and Freddie looked at the heart monitor. Slow beeping and slow breathing greeted them.

“Good morning darlings” Freddie whispers softly. 

Roger and John groan their responses and they too look at the sleeping Brian. Whatever hope they had of him being awake and ok was squandered.

John’s face fell and took Brian’s hand and squeezed.

Roger’s eyes still like blue steel yet his lip trembled a bit. He soon got up and left the room without saying a word. John whimpered watching him go in a huff.

“Roger...?” John called out.

“Let him go dear, you know our Roggie, he has a lot on his mind. He will be back” Freddie coos.

Freddie feels Brian’s head. It’s warmer than last night for sure but he can still feel little shivers from Brian’s body. 

Freddie tutted and stroked Brian’s hair running his fingers through the now dry curls.

““Come on dear you’ve gone through hepatitis and an ulcer. We aren’t losing you to a stupid pond darling!” Freddie whispers In his ear. He wrapped his arms tight around Brian’s middle and held him close to him.

With his head now on Brian’s chest, John nuzzled in closely trying to salvage any heat he could give Brian. Though he was warmer than yesterday, he was still pale and even a little sickly looking. He softly interlocked his fingers with Brian’s and squeezed softly.

‘I’m here. We are here’ John thought sighing softly.

Soon footsteps could be heard. Multiple footsteps. 

“Oh dear God...” they heard.

Freddie and John looked up and saw Jim Beach at the door way looking forlorn. Roger was by his side with some coffee and tea. 

“Miami....” Freddie cooed.

“I got the call...Jesus I didn’t think it was this bad” Miami said going over to his side. 

“He awoke last night for a bit but then passed out again” Freddie said as he strokes Brian’s hair.

“Ah Brian....what happened exactly?” Miami asked.

Roger looked at Brian arms crossed.

“He saves a child from drowning...and then he drowned himself...sodding idiot” Roger grumbled.

“His heart was in the right place dear, I don’t think he expected to drown” Freddie said.

Roger shot him a scathing look. 

“Or did he?” Roger asks.

They all looked at him.

“Roggie you’re not saying he...he wanted to drown!?” Freddie asked eyes wide.

“I’m merely suggesting Fred! We all have seen him swim before! Now the time we all start treating him like absolute shit is the moment he magically forgets how to swim? That’s bullocks!” Roger exclaimed his face nearly red and tears in his eyes.

Miami looked at them and looked and Brian.

“Boys....what exactly did happen?” Miami asked not liking what he was hearing already.

They looked at each other and John whimpered. 

“We...we had a lot of arguments...more than usual this time...I..Freddie and I had a vision for this album and well...it split us up. Then I..I wrote a song out of frustration and aimed it at Brian...and then it started another fight...” John started. 

The lump In his throat got bigger as he explained the story. Each time recalling it just wanted to make him vomit. He stomach churning as he repeated what he told Brian.

“I said we didn’t need him...and then he took off” John finished tears running down his face. 

Freddie instantly took John’s hand and squeezed it.

“We then found out he ran into a boy whose sister had fallen into the pond. You know our Brimi has a big heart so he went and saved her but he fell in himself and....well the kids found us next and then we got him out” Freddie explained taking over for John.

“Jesus...” Miami breathed.

“We fished him out he wasn’t breathing....we had to bring him back...” Roger said arms still crossed.

Miami took this all in. He knew band spats were nothing new. Hell every time he’d see them they were always talking about what’s going where, whose song is on which album, when the tour is, what to call their next album, everything. But a few moments later they would all laugh and joke about it. He saw the looks on their faces. Guilt wasn’t even half of what was there. He saw sorrow, agony, relief, and guilt at the same time. 

He never expected a fight to go this bad. 

“Ok...we need to make some calls, first off Chrissy...shall I tell her the truth?” Miami asked.

“The poor girl is pregnant! No we can’t tell her husband nearly died. Tell her that he just caught a nasty cold” Freddie said.

Roger sighed.

“I agree, we can’t worry her too much” Roger says.

“Ok, done, next the studio. We need to tell Mack” John said squeezing Freddie’s hand to which he squeezed back.

“I’ll call Mack, he will probably want to see Brian himself” Miami said. 

He then got up and went to make the phone calls. “You know this isn’t any of your faults right?” Miami asked as he stood at the doorway. All he got were silent nods. Very convincing. 

“Keep an eye out for him” Miami said as he walked out. 

“We will get this all sorted dear. You just keep on resting” Freddie said stroking Brian’s hair.

He gave a soft kiss on Brian’s forehead. His forehead was actually quite warm. Freddie gasped softly.

“Roger feel his forehead? Is it too warm?” Freddie asked.

Roger felt Brian’s forehead and hummed.

“It’s warm...but shouldn’t that be a good thing? I mean he was fucking frozen yesterday” Roger said stroking Brian’s hair softly.

“Hgnnn” Brian groaned making the boys jump.

“Brian..?” John asked softly.

“Brimi it’s us! It’s ok” Freddie cooed squeezing Brian’s hand softly.

Brian’s body then shot up he then slumped over. Roger quickly steadied Brian’s shoulders and Freddie and John quickly supported his back.

“Woah! Brian! It’s ok! Stay still you’re in the hospital” Roger exclaims.

It’s then that Roger gets a good look at Brian. His eyes are glazed over and face is pale. Not from the cold this time.

Brian groaned. His body felt like deadweight ready to give in.

“Help....” Brian groaned. 

They saw his eyes roll in the back of his head and body give way. Thankfully it was a gentle landing thanks to Freddie and John.

Freddie screamed.

“GET THE DOCTOR!” Freddie shouted tears streaming down his face.

John whimpered and Roger ran out the door.

“Brimi!? It’s ok! Please just stay with us!” Freddie sobbed.

John looked at the heart monitor it was still beeping thankfully but slower.

Soon they were ushered out of the room and back in the dreaded waiting room waiting for any news to come. 

‘When will this end?’ John thought.

‘Please be ok....’


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More hospital stuff!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all!! I hope everyone is having a great holiday season! There’s just a few more chapters left! But for now here you go! Have a nice and safe holiday everyone!

The rest of the band waited for hours. It was torturous to wait. 

‘But we deserve it...it deserve it’ John thought to himself as he sighed and buried his face in his hands. 

“There there my love, it’s going to be ok” Freddie cooed softly trying to be reassuring, but he himself was shaking more than ever. 

They had him! For one small moment they had him. Albeit groggy and weak but they had him awake. He looked at them! 

And then...collapsing in front of them again. Like some sort of raggedy Anne doll. Granted they would have never let him fall too hard. Never ever again would they let him fall, or slip away from them again!

‘Not if I can help it!’ Freddie thought to himself as he pulled John closer to him.

Roger was a different story.

He sat at the end of the couch, resting his head in his head. His knees shaking, bouncing up and down and looking at the door as if he could magically conjure a healthy, happy Brian up himself. 

A happy and healthy Brian. That was something they haven’t seen in a very long time.

“When this is all good and done, we are taking a nice long vacation. Us and Brian. We don’t even have to go anywhere special. Just spend time with him and support him” Freddie cooed.

John nodded vigorously. He wasn’t going to abandon him or make him feel any worse if he could help it. 

Roger growled.

“We are idiots! We know how Brian gets when he’s in his moods but we took that and we shoved everything full force! He felt like he had to drown to escape everything” Roger said holding himself.

“Darling we don’t know that. You know that water was fucking freezing, his body could’ve been in shock” Freddie said.

“Bull...you know Brian can swim!” Roger said his voice cracking.

He didn’t want to be part of the reason his best friend wanted to drown.

“I’ll tell you what we are going to fucking do....we are going to fucking apologize the minute he wakes up! Starting with you!” Roger growled pointing at John.

“Roger...” Freddie said in warning.

They were NOT about to start another fight. Not on Freddie’s watch. 

“He’s right...I have to apologize Freddie! I..I messed up so badly! I didn’t mean to! I was just so sick of him...him being right all the time. His perfectionism...it got to a point where I snapped and I wrote Back Chat. I never wanted this to happen!” John said tears coming afresh.

Freddie hugged him closer.

“Ok my love ok. When Brian is awake you can apologize. We all will” Freddie cooed.

Soon the doctor came out and went to the band.

“I’m happy to report that your friend will be ok eventually, his body is just now reacting to the shock. Bad news is he has a fever. A high one at that so we will keep him again over night” The doctor explained.

“Can we see him?” John asked softly.

They saw the look of hesitation flash across the doctor’s face but one look at Roger’s glare and he cleared his throat.

“We wouldn’t really recommend this but considering all that’s happened I’ll allow it. But you must wear masks” the doctor said.

They nodded and followed the doctor and were given masks. They soon were led back into Brian’s room. The guitarist was laid back back in bed. His eyes closed again and face and hands looking a little clammy. 

“Oh Brimi!” Freddie cooed rushing over to his side. He softly stroked his hair.

“Please do not touch the patient” The doctor said.

Freddie shot the doctor as dirty look.

“Darling I dare you to try and stop me. No, this is my friend and brother, I’m going to comfort him and let him know we are here in any way we can” Freddie said as he climbed into the bed with Brian just as he was before. 

Roger smirked as he saw different emotions flash across the doctor’s face.

“I..” He started.

“If you have any problems our lawyer is right outside! Take it up with him if you must” Freddie said dismissing him.

The doctor left without another word.

“Was that the best way to go about things?” John asked softly.

“For Freddie? Yes” Roger smiled giggling.

Freddie smiled triumphantly and held Brian close.

“I have a mask on it’s ok” Freddie said.

Roger and John looked at each other and smiled softly under there masks. Freddie could be the BIGGEST mother hen one has ever seen. And mother hen Freddie didn’t take no for an answer especially when the band was involved.

John looked down and took his place next to Brian and gently took his hand.

“It’s ok Brian we’re here” John cooed softly.

As if on cue, Brian opened his eyes. They were still a little glossy but he seemed to recognize them.

“Time to go on? Concert...?” Brian asked weakly.

“Oh darling heavens no! No concert tonight love. You just rest and lay next to me” Freddie coos.

That didn’t stop Brian from trying to get up. 

“Guitar....where...? Need her for concert” Brian groaned looking around.

Roger gently rubbed his shoulder.

“Woah mate, stay down, you aren’t at a concert you’re in the hospital, no solos for you tonight” Roger says softly.

Brian’s eyes widened at the word hospital.

“Hospital!? Hepatitis.!?” Brian asked looking down at his hands.

John gently squeezed the hand he was holding and took Brian’s other hand in his as well.

“No hepatitis Brian, don’t worry you’re just sick, look your hands are both here” John cooed showing Brian his hands.

Brian whimpers.

“Guitar...need her..” Brian whimpered.

Freddie held him close.

“Ok dear, ok sweetheart! We will get your lady here” Freddie said stroking Brian’s sweat soaked curls.

Freddie looked at Roger and John.

“John get some cool cloths, Roger call Mack, the guitar is in the studio” Freddie commanded.

They nodded and went off. Freddie smiled and nuzzles Brian close.

“You just stay right here Brimi. All will be sorted soon!”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mack comes back, and John and Freddie begin to crack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!! I hope you all had amazing holidays! This will be the last chapter of 2019! We have more to go! I want to thank you all for giving my story some love! Happy New Year everyone!!

John and Roger left the room. As soon as they were down the hall Roger placed a hand on John’s shoulder.

“Here John, how about YOU call Mack and take a walk for a bit and I’ll get the cool cloths” Roger said in a time that John knew wasn’t to be argued with.

He nodded meekly and walked to the phone. 

Suddenly he was back at The May’s house. Sweet Chrissie smiling at him with little Jimmy attached to her hip. Her stomach starting to swell with hers and Brian’s second child.

“I know this is what you all have to do...I just wish it wasn’t too far!” Chrissie said with small sigh.

“I know, trust me, I’ll miss Ronnie and the kids terribly” John said nodding in understanding.

Chrissie smiled.

“Well she and I have been talking we probably have a few play dates set up for the kids!” Chrissie cooed softly.

Jimmy perked up at the mention of a play date.

“We going to see Robbie and Michael!?” He asked excitedly.

Chrissie strokes the little boy’s head.

“Not today dear, but soon!” Chrissie says.

She looks back up at John.

“I know we both know how Brian gets, please take care of him for me?” She asks so sweetly.

John smiles.

“Of course, you have my word Chrissie I’ll make sure to take good care of Brian” John promised.

Chrissie smiled and hugged him kissing his cheek. Soon Jimmy went to John and hugged him tightly.

John felt the tears roll down his face as Chrissie and Jimmy’s faces disappear from him.

Take care of him. 

‘What a shit job I did...’ John thought to himself as he ran quickly to the phone tears now pouring down his face like a water fall. He would never be able to face Chrissie nor jimmy again. Not after all that’s happened, not after pulling her husband from the water with Freddie and Roger because of something he had said.

‘Call Mack’ he reminded himself. He didn’t want to keep Freddie waiting and he had to get back to check on Brian! 

He quickly dialed and waiting for an answer. Thankfully it didn’t take long. 

“Hello?” 

“Mack, it’s John Deacon....”

The response was instant. 

“JOHN! WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!? Why did I get a phone call from Jim Beach saying Brian nearly DROWNED!?” Mack yelled into the phone.

John flinched at the tone yet he expected nothing less.

“Mack...He nearly died...it was horrible oh god Mack..he wasn’t breathing..! Roger had to do CPR and Freddie and I helped, we have him back now but now he’s sick, he’s asking for his guitar” John whimpered not even bothering to control his tears. 

He could hear Mack sigh.

“He wants his guitar? Nearly died and he wants his guitar...good news is he’s still Brian.” Mack said.

John hummed.

“We need you to come over here, if you can” John whispered.

“Say no more John, I’ll be there soon. The guitar has been here in the corner the whole time” Mack said screwing another heart wrenching nail in John’s heart.

Brian’s guitar shouldn’t be in some odd corner of a studio! It should be in his hands ready to sing. Ready to be played not begging. Hanging up the phone he slid into the chair next to the phone and collapsed in on himself tears not stopping. 

Back in Brian’s room, Freddie held Brian close. Sickness be damned! He hummed softly as he stroked the soft curls. 

“There’s a darling, you’re doing so well Brimi, I know none of this must be fun for you. But you’re so strong. You’ll come back to us soon.....you have to. Perhaps getting your lovely lady back will help hmm?” Freddie cooed.

He ignored the stabbing pain in his heart when he got no response. He wanted to check his pulse and breathing altogether when he got no response. He stopped himself as he heard the beeping of Brian’s heart monitor. His Brimi was alive. He was ok. 

“You know darling...I was thinking, when this is all over, we can write together again. You and me, or all of us, whatever you want darling. It’s all you dear. What I wouldn’t give to hear you sing again, let us hear your amazing words....I know it hasn’t seemed like that lately...I’m sorry it took you nearly....I’m sorry it’s come to this my love! But I promise I promise you things will change. Just please...come back to us” Freddie said his voice breaking. 

Now truly alone with Brian, it allowed Freddie to actually feel everything since the incident. Just the day before he was helping to breathe for Brian. Holding Roger and John together, keeping Roger from murdering John, keeping John from jumping off the metaphorical ledge of self blame and guilt for this whole situation. It kept Freddie from thinking.

But now here he was. Just he and Brian. 

Freddie sobbed silently as he held Brian close. 

“Oh Brian....” Freddie gasped burying his face in the plethora of curls. 

Only to feel Brian nuzzling him back. 

He looked down and saw Brian, eyes still closed he was nuzzling close burying his face in Freddie’s neck. Brian was trying to comfort Freddie.

Freddie sobbed even more. Even sick and delirious Brian wanted to comfort Freddie. It was the kind of man Brian was.

“What did we do to deserve you?” Freddie asked sniffling and wiping his tears. 

No use crying in front of John and Roger. 

A few moments later Roger came back in carrying a few cloths and blankets. Freddie has stopped crying by then.

“Told Deaky to call Mack. Make him take a walk and be by himself” Roger said putting the cloths and blankets by Brian’s beside.

“Is that a good idea darling?” Freddie asked.

“It needs to be done Freddie” Roger said getting a bowl of cold water for the cloths.

Freddie sighed.

“Maybe...I just don’t like the idea of him alone right now” Freddie cooed.

Roger didn’t respond. He just dipped the cloth and went closer to Brian and placed the cloth over his brow. Brian whimpered.

“It’s ok Bri, this is good for you, it’ll help your fever” Roger said keeping the cloth in place. 

“Cold...” Brian moaned.

“I know Brian, hold on, let me get you a blanket” Roger said softly. 

He got the extra blanket and helped Freddie swaddle Brian. Brian snuggled in close.

“That’s it dear all nice and snuggly” Freddie cooed holding him.

Roger saw the redness of Freddie’s eyes. He smiled sadly.

“Freddie, he’s going to be ok...” Roger said.

Freddie nodded.

“I know” Freddie said looking down not wanting Roger to see his unshed tears.

“He’s still our Brian” Roger said.

“We don’t know that. After what this album did to him...what we did...what I did...” Freddie whimpered.

Freddie looked at Roger tears pooling in his eyes.

“I’m sorry Roggie...” Freddie whimpered knowing how Roger felt about this album.

Like Brian, Roger didn’t like where this album was headed. What worried him even more was not just the album but where the band was heading as a whole.

“Freddie...it’s ok....you’re ok Freddie” Roger said going over to where Freddie was holding Brian and hugged Freddie close as best as he can.

“We can’t do this without you or Brian. I’m sorry it came to that” Freddie whimpered.

Roger shushed him.

“No, no Freddie it’s ok...when this is all over we can all have a talk...we can make this better” Roger said squeezing Freddie’s hand.

Freddie nodded.

“Of course dear...of course” Freddie said looking into Roger’s eyes.

Soon they heard footsteps shuffling in. They looked over and saw John, his face red and eyes even redder. He was looking down to the ground looking like a kicked puppy.

“Oh darling come here!” Freddie cooed.

Not able to resist Freddie’s calming voice, John went over to the bed and nuzzled close to Brian and Freddie.

“It’s going to be ok, Brian will be ok...so will the band” Freddie cooed.

“I’m sorry!” John whimpered looking at Freddie and Roger.

Roger’s expression was unreadable making John shiver in fear. He couldn’t lose his best friend. He couldn’t lose ANY of them.

“John...this will take some time...but Freddie’s right. We will be ok” Roger said.

Freddie smiles at Roger proudly.

John nods trembling and gently rubbing Brian’s shoulder.

“Oh my God” 

The trio looked and saw Mack with Brian’s guitar case in tow.

“Mack” Freddie said.

Wordless, Mack placed the guitar down and went to Brian’s bedside.

“Holy shit...” Mack said.

Roger nods.

“You should’ve seen him yesterday” Roger whispers.

Mack gently touched Brian’s curls gently stroking them.

“How is he?” Mack asked.

“Better...well not as great. He has a fever. He’s delirious and last time we got a full sentence out of him all he asked for was his guitar” Freddie said with a small smile.

“As I told John, the good news is he’s still Brian” Mack smiled softly.

That got a small smile from Freddie and Roger.

Freddie looked over to the guitar case.

“Brian dear? Mack brought your guitar” Freddie cooed.

Brian opened his eyes blearily.

“My lady..? Time to go on..?” Brian moaned.

Mack’s heart broke at the weakened Brian laying on that bed. Just a few days ago he was next to him silent but a comforting presence.

“No dear. No concert. But we have her. You want to see her?” Freddie cooed.

Brian hummed and smiled.

“Where is she?” Brian asked.

Mack quickly got the guitar cased and opened it. 

There in the case laid Brian’s guitar. But much to their dismay, it had actually had a layer of dust on it. But Brian didn’t notice. For he had fallen asleep on Freddie’s shoulder before even looking at her.

“No. No no no!” Freddie moaned looking at the guitar.

John gasped. 

Seeing the poor guitar who has wowed millions including himself in that state made him want to throw up. 

“Why is it fucking dusty!?” Roger asked face getting red.

Mack looked at them.

“It’s like I said. You are nothing without each other. When John said no guitar...Brian put her down he tried to fight back but no one was listening.” Mack explained.

John wanted to scream. 

“Well that’s changing! Mack I need you to get someone to clean her! POLISH HER! And make her look sparkling and like new!” Freddie demanded holding Brian close. 

“I’ll help. I’ll do it. John and I both will” Roger said quickly.

John nodded.

“Ok let me just get some supplies I’ll be back” Mack said before he left the room.

Freddie sighed in relief.

“Thank God he didn’t see her like that oh he would’ve been heartbroken!” Freddie cooed nuzzling into Brian protectively. 

“He won’t. He will see her all shiny and like new” Roger said.

John couldn’t speak. He could only hope that this would set things in the right direction. With his stomach churning he went over to the guitar case and gently put it on the couch of the room.

He would never ever let Brian feel as if he wasn’t loved or important ever again. And he certainly wouldn’t let this beauty of a guitar get to be in this state ever again.

He would make sure of it.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger’s breakdown!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year folks! I’m currently feeling a bit under the weather but here’s a little chapter for you guys!

The cleaning of the guitar was easier than expected. Mack had brought the supplies and then said his goodbyes wanting to give the boys their space. So they got to work. A bit of polish and a dust cloth and it looked brand new.

But for Roger he knew how important it was for Brian to see his lady in pristine shape. It’s the least they could do for him after shooting down all he had to offer. 

He gently had the guitar in his hands as they polished her. It was then Roger knew that this guitar would be more important than any woman he could ever hold in his arms. 

John looked as the guitar he was helping to clean. His hands felt like they were on fire as he touched the sacred instrument. This is what he told Brian to put down. He saw the reflection of himself tauntingly in the guitar as if she was showing him the asshole he had become. Tears welled up in his eyes as he had to look away. 

“Painful isn’t it?” Roger asked softly.

John could only nod.

Roger sighed.

“If she could talk, she would be screaming as us” Roger commented as he gave the guitar a gentle pat.

John couldn’t help but smile.

“She would...” John said.

The two sat in silence. John knew he wasn’t Roger’s favorite person at the moment and rightfully so. But John knew he couldn’t live in fear of Roger forever.

“How...how are you feeling?” John asked timidly.

Roger looked at him.

“How am I feeling?” He asked looking at him with an unreadable expression.

John inwardly cringed. Maybe that wasn’t the right thing to ask. But to be fair, Roger did most of the work bringing their brother back. It was a team effort yes, but Roger kept Brian’s heart going.

What John didn’t expect was a lone tear running down Roger’s cheek as his hands trembled yet still gentle with the guitar in his hands.

“I feel like we nearly lost our big brother and we nearly NEVER got to see him or hear his voice again” Roger whimpered.

It hit Roger like a ton of bricks. They had been so close to losing Brian. He could still feel the pressure his hand had put on Brian’s chest as he tried to get his heart beating again. The countless thoughts running through his head as he pounded at Brian’s chest. Breathing for him when it was his turn while John and Freddie took a break. He NEVER took a break from chest compressions. He knew Brian’s heartbeat and he would be the one to start it up again. 

Brian was cold. Brian had been dead. Limp underneath him and couldn’t help himself. It made Roger want to vomit at the thought of picturing his friend, his brother drowning. Seeing Freddie and John breakdown over Brian’s limp form already thinking he was dead. Roger couldn’t break down, he had to be the strong one. But now...

It was a movie in his mind. The constant replay of compression...breathe...compression...breathe...

Roger quickly put the guitar down back in her case and wordlessly went over to Brian’s bed. Freddie still holding him bless him, had a worried yet understanding look on his face.

“Here darling, why don’t you hold him for a bit? I need to stretch a little and I want to get a look at Brian’s lady” Freddie said gently. 

Roger just nodded tears streaming down his face.

Freddie slowly got out of the bed and switched positions. Now it was Roger’s turn to hold Brian close. He heard the beeping sounds of the monitors he checked all of the machines Brian was hooked up to. 

He carefully placed an ear to Brian’s chest wanting to hear his heart for himself. He didn’t exactly trust the doctors here especially when the ambulance and emergency services took so damn long to come in the first place. Besides Roger knew Brian’s heart better than any ratty old machine. 

Roger sniffled softly and nuzzled close to Brian.

“I’m sorry...I’m so sorry! I’m sorry this happened...I’m sorry I couldn’t...we couldn’t get to you in time. I wish we could’ve got to you before everything!” Roger sobbed fully breaking down. He held Brian even closer.

Brian was his rock, his safety net. Not that he’d ever admit it but Brian was the one he looked up to. He was calm, cool and collected. He always knew the right thing to say and more than he would like to admit the band depended on it. He always depended on it. He would always be on Brian’s side through everything.

“Fucking Christ Brian. I promise I will never ever let you go through this shit again...I love you! I love you, you’re family, you’re my brother. And I will be there for you every step of the way. I won’t let a fucking pond take you away! I didn’t then and I won’t now!” Roger said with more conviction in his voice. 

Roger gently stroked Brian’s hair and cuddled close keeping an eye on the heart monitor as if daring it to do anything but it’s job. 

Freddie and John looked over and saw Roger holding and whispering to Brian. John looked down whimpering. Freddie just held him close.

“You will get to talk to him soon dear. Soon we will all have a talk” Freddie reassured him.

“I know...” John said quietly. 

Freddie smiled as he saw Red Special in her case.

“She’s absolutely gleaming my love, Brian will be so impressed!” Freddie said rubbing John’s shoulder.

John nodded.

“I hope so, he deserves the best...so does she...our sound....it would’ve been so different without her...without him...” John whimpered.

Freddie sighed.

“Yes it would’ve” He agreed.

John whimpered.

“I should’ve never tried to change our sound! It’s one thing to get experimental but to not even include him...Freddie he will never forgive me!” John said voice cracking.

Freddie shushed him taking John into his arms.

“He will dear...I’m sure he already has. You’ll see” Freddie said hugging him tightly. 

He looked over and saw Roger looking over Brian. He knew he wouldn’t leave until Brian awoke or was discharged and even then would Roger still be by his side.

As they all would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Coming up: Brian’s discharge and NIGHTMARES!!!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian is discharged and the boys are finally together again! But it’s just the beginning...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *comes out of hiding*  
Uh..hi! So I don’t know where to start but I do want to give you all an explanation. To put it mildly, February was the worst month. Ever. I lost my uncle and my grandfather landed himself in the hospital and work was crazy. But I’m here now. I’m still going through it. I don’t know how often I can update but but I will finish this! Thank you all who have stood by the story! Enjoy!

It took another day, but eventually they had to discharge Brian. Though Freddie would’ve preferred to keep Brian in the hospital until after his sickness was gone.

“Are you sure he’s ok to be discharged like this? I mean he drowned for God’s sake! And a fever!” Freddie said holding Brian to himself.

The Doctor sighed.

“Mr Mercury, Mr May, is going to be just fine. We see no reason to keep him here, you and your friends just have to make sure he gets enough fluids and make sure he eats. We will prescribe him an antibiotic but all in all he will be fine” The Doctor said.

Freddie a bit calmer now, sighed and strokes Brian’s hair.

Roger and John were getting the car ready to transport Brian back to the place they were staying at. So it gave Freddie time to rouse Brian up as best as he could.

“Brimi darling...come on we are leaving this dreadful place” Freddie cooed as he tapped Brian’s cheek and shook him a little.

For a split second he found himself back at that awful pond. Brian cold in their arms and....

“Ughhh” Brian groans opening his eyes, they’re still a little glazed but a little more focused.

“Fred..?” He asked voice a little hoarse. 

Freddie sighed in relief relaxing a little. He wasn’t at that pond and Brian was CERTAINLY alive and well. 

“Hi darling, come on, Roger and Deaky are getting the car ready can you sit up for me?” Freddie asked gently.

Brian nodded and he got up albeit a little shaky.

“Feel..feels like I’ve been run over” Brian sighed closing his eyes slowly.

“Hey no no, eyes open dear. Just at least we get to the car! Then you can sleep all you want” Freddie said getting a jacket for Brian and putting his arms through it. John, the smart lad, had slippers by the bed for Brian to simply slip his feet in which Brian did with no trouble.

Roger soon came in with the discharge papers.

“Ok Bri, you’re good to go. Come on, John’s in the car waiting.” Roger said as he helped Brian up, Brian might have towered over him but he was going to help him stand anyways.

“Thanks Rog, owe you one” Brian smiles softly down at him. It makes Roger smile instantly. Until Brian grimaced.

“What is it?” Roger asked.

Freddie looked at Brian in alarm ready to get a doctor.

“Shit..chest and ribs are sore...” Brian sighs.

“Ah...well...you can blame Roger for that one darling” Freddie said.

Brian looked at Roger.

“Roger what did you do?” 

It was then that Freddie and Roger realized that they didn’t tell Brian exactly what happened.

“Uh...look we will tell you when we get back to our place” Roger said.

Brian followed along and soon enough they were back at the place they were staying. John had been awfully quiet. Although Brian couldn’t blame him. They hadn’t really have been the best of friends lately. 

Brian lays on the couch with a mug of tea in his hands and he sighs softly. His body is aching. He knows he should be sleeping at least but his mind still races.

What did happen....

“There you are dear” Freddie cooed as he, Roger and Deaky come into the common area to join Brian. They sit with him h the others chairs and Roger chooses to sit on the floor by his side. 

“Hey...” Brian sighs softly. His nose being a little stuffed he can’t seem to breathe properly. 

“So...what happened..?” Brian asked.

“What do you remember?” Roger countered.

Brian’s eyebrows knit together in thought. 

“We...were in the studio...I..I left and then....”

Flashes of light go off in his mind. 

“We don’t need you!” 

Walking. Cold. Kids.

The kids.

“The Kids!! Are they ok??” Brian asked his eyes widened.

Freddie goes to him shushing him.

“Yes dear they’re fine you saved the girl. And got them to safety” Freddie reassured and kissing his forehead.

“But you drowned” John deadpanned. 

Freddie whipped his head around.

“John!” He exclaimed.

John saw Roger glaring at him and he knew if looks could kill he wouldn’t be alive to see Brian’s reaction.

Brian just looked down and concentrated. He remembered being so cold. He thought he himself was frozen. 

He was sinking. He felt the burning sensation of the water flowing into his lungs weighing him down. His head feeling light and heavy at the same time.

“Right...John’s right...I did...” Brian said looking up to face his bandmates.

Freddie tried to stop the tears but couldn’t help tearing up.

“We..we didn’t get any stuff done.. not got stuff at that. Not without you. Mack kicked us out and we went looking....by chance those kids ran into us saying a man was drowning...they described you. We ran. Brian...we were so scared” Freddie explained.

Brian looked at saw the tears unshed in his eyes.

“You got me out..” Brian said.

Roger nodded.

“We did. I pulled you out, we did a human chain basically Freddie had John, John had me and I had you” Roger said looked up at Brian wrapping his arms around his legs curling up. He didn’t even want to think about it.

“Oh dear it...shocked us all really...oh but Roger did most of the work. The reason why your chest hurts is because Roger was doing chest compressions on you. Kept your heart beating. He saved you love” Freddie said smiling at Roger.

Roger looked away a bit embarrassed.

“John and Freddie helped you too...they helped breathe for you. It was just me..” Roger said trailing off.

Brian looked at his friends one by one. They didn’t leave him. They loved him.

He smiled.

“Roger..” he said getting up to sit and reached out his hand for Roger to take.

Roger looked at him and took his hand. To which Brian got him onto the couch and hugged him as tight as he could with his ribs and all.

“Thank you” Brian whispered in his ear cuddling close.

Roger whimpered softly and hugged back gently. He felt the tears come on but he didn’t want to cry in front of Brian. 

“You better not do that again Brian. I’m not fishing you out again” Roger said clearing his throat.

“If I see a child in danger there’s no promises” Brian says softly.

“Oh for gods sakes Brian” Roger says shaking his head.

And Brian cuddles up to him and Roger positions Brian on his chest. And Brian smiles out to Freddie and takes his hand.

“Thank you Freddie” he says.

Freddie doesn’t hide his emotion and tears up cooing and lays himself over Brian still mindful of his injuries and sickness.

“Oh Brimi! I’m so happy you’re alive” Freddie said kissing his cheek.

Brian stroked Freddie’s hair smiling softly.

He looked over to John next and finally. The bassist had a blank face. Though they may have fought and John had said those hurtful words...Brian wouldn’t have been there without his help either.

“Thank you John” Brian said.

John just gives him a small smile and nods.

That night, Freddie tucks Brian in and coos softly.

“If you need anything, anything at all do not hesitate to call one of us” Freddie said stroking Brians curls.

“I got it Fred.” He coos softly.

Roger was the one who gave him his medicines and more tea and he patted his shoulder.

“You just sleep now ok?” Roger asks.

Brian nods with a smile. But the smile falters when he sees John isn’t there. Their youngest member had turned in early for the night saying he was exhausted. But no one missed the haunted look in his eyes.

“John will be fine Bri, he is an adult” Roger said.

“I know...I...I was just thinking about what he said to me before...” Brian says resting his head on the pillows.

“Oh don’t worry about that. The tosser didn’t mean it. And if you want I’ll talk to him” Roger scoffed.

Freddie puts a hand on Roger’s shoulder.

“Roger no. He will come around on his own time. For now we focus on Brian” Freddie said giving Brian a gentle smile.

That smile Brian knew, meant that he was going to be basically coddled by Freddie. 

There were worse things still.

They soon left him on his own. He sighed as he look out his windows.

The last thing he saw was his beloved stars before he fell into a dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up: NIGHTMARES...for real this time
> 
> Also: Happy Queen Day! This day in 1971 our Deaky officially joined the band making Queen what it is today!!

**Author's Note:**

> Well that happened! Please don’t kill me!  
Talk to me on tumblr: killerqueengigi


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